Monday, October 16, 2017

Changes are inevitable

It has been so long since I have blogged, and lets be honest, a whole two posts does not a blog make.

Two years. So much has happened in those two years! Our baby has a genetic condition, AR-HIES. It causes chronic skin infections, severe eczema, severe allergies, and chronic lung infections. Her life is not at all following the map I had planned for her. But she is happy. She is loving. She is precious to us. God knows what he is doing.

And now I am not the full time, SAHM I once was. I developed OCD with our daughters diagnosis (and multiple hospitalizations, oncology visits, infections, and anaphylaxis.) I cried when I had to leave the house. I still have nightmares almost every night that I do something and she dies. I tried for a few months to go back to my old job, but I was never on time, I was distracted, I was overly emotional at little things. I just wasnt ready. So now I am doing something so I can feel prepared in all cases. I am getting my EMT licence! By spring I will be an Advanced EMT. I plan to take at least on call employment. If there is an emergency at home, I will know in short order, AND I will be pushing myself to overcome the panicked voice in the back of my head. I will regain some of my life. I am determined. God willing.

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