Changes are inevitable

It has been so long since I have blogged, and lets be honest, a whole two posts does not a blog make.

Two years. So much has happened in those two years! Our baby has a genetic condition, AR-HIES. It causes chronic skin infections, severe eczema, severe allergies, and chronic lung infections. Her life is not at all following the map I had planned for her. But she is happy. She is loving. She is precious to us. God knows what he is doing.

And now I am not the full time, SAHM I once was. I developed OCD with our daughters diagnosis (and multiple hospitalizations, oncology visits, infections, and anaphylaxis.) I cried when I had to leave the house. I still have nightmares almost every night that I do something and she dies. I tried for a few months to go back to my old job, but I was never on time, I was distracted, I was overly emotional at little things. I just wasnt ready. So now I am doing something so I can feel prepared in all cases. I am getting my EMT licence! By spring I will be an Advanced EMT. I plan to take at least on call employment. If there is an emergency at home, I will know in short order, AND I will be pushing myself to overcome the panicked voice in the back of my head. I will regain some of my life. I am determined. God willing.

Is it a job?

I went down a comment thread rabbit hole on a Facebook post today. One of the commenters made the statement that being a SAHM was not a job, because a job is a means to an end. With a job someday you will be done, you will retire, but you will never stop being a parent. We will never stop mothering.

This is in no way an attempt to start any argument or discussion about WOHMs vs SAHMs, or any other version of Mommy Wars. Just my disclaimer.

I am completely content in what my husband and I have chosen as the best path for our family. I am a homemaker, I have no issues telling people that, and I do not feel the need to justify it in any way. However, it is not a job. Being a mother is not a job, it is so much more. We really denegrate our status as mothers when we call it a job. It is a calling, a passion, a lifelong persuit and process! We will never stop trying to mother our babies, even when they leave home and have babies of their own. We are adaptable people, we mothers. We will find ways to mother our children no matter what their ages!

So mother on, ladies! Mother on.

Why Blog?

Why blog? Why bother? I have no idea really. Maybe its because I have an English degree and I feel drawn to use it somehow. Doubtful. I suppose its mostly a way for me to keep track (only for myself, really) of our life.

We live in Maine, just recently moved to a new home, have four beautiful children, and we are just living day by day.

I like (in no particular order) God, chickens, gardening, traditional living, traditional foods (such as described by Weston Price and Sally Fallon), horses, knitting, and reading everything.